The sun has come out a little bit each day the last week or so, so I think it is officially okay for me to say it is spring in these parts?
Every morning when I walk back from the gym I can pluck a pink flower off the tree by the mailboxes and deliver it to my happy kiddos who are just waking up and snuggling their daddy on the couch as he reads his scriptures. I can get used to this. :)
We are working on healthy habits here and this last week I ate more vegetables than I think I ever have and I lost a pound and a half. I'd say that is progress! I can also see it in Logan. I just feel fresher! Its wonderful. My patriarchal blessing mentions keeping the Word of Wisdom. After thinking that over a lot and wondering why, because I really have never taken any drugs (besides those prescribed to me), consumed alcohol, smoked, or anything of the like (although Sharee will attest to me accidentally getting a frappachino at Starbucks that I didn't quite order right that took me about two sips to realize decaff did not mean there was no coffee in it... that is a funny story). So I have been realizing there is a lot more to the Word of Wisdom than just the "don't consumes" but there are a lot of "should consumes" that I should be focusing on more. It has been fun. And the kids have been doing a good job of trying new things. Elsy took a bite of a spinach leaf today! And Tommy tried a bite of quinoa on his own too! I call that a success... even if the rest of what they ate was garlic bread toast....
These kids love it when Daddy comes home and they love it when we go out and meet him in the parking lot for a little time in the "Black Car"... even though it is white... Ever since Elsy was barely talking she has called Logan's Mini "The Black Car" and we finally figured out it was because the inside was all black. Tommy, in true boy fashion, knows just what kind of car it is, "COOPER!!" he says.
While looking through my photos I found these. Even though I prided myself last week on being all caught up I wanted to share these because they were so fun. They were taken about a month ago on one of the first sunny days of the year. I got Logan a slack line for Christmas. Logan has been waiting and waiting to try it out and we finally made it to Ebrite park to have a go. I didn't wear the right shoes and it was too cold to take them off so I didn't make it very far but Logan is a natural.
I want to get a training rope for the kids. Elsy and Tommy thought it was so fun!
Here is my cute little soft little squishy little boy tucking in his star wars toys. Logan caught this picture and said he was saying, "Night night Star Wars" as he tucked little Kylo Ren in.
Tommy has had a bit of a rough week. I am pretty sure he is starting to get his two year old molars because he has been hanging around with both pointer fingers shoved into his mouth with drool running out. Ew. I haven't had to deal with drool for quite a while so yeah. That is fun I guess. On Sunday night he jumped from the top of our slide (you can see it in the background of the picture below) and hurt his foot pretty bad. I was afraid he broke a bone in the side of his left foot. He was fussy and every time he tried to walk he would burst into tears and cry, "Hurts!" It was so sad. After observing him for a while we decided to just give him ibuprofen and wait until morning to see what he did. The first couple steps the next day seemed a little stiff but he has been running and jumping off the couches ever since so I'm not worried anymore.
I think because he is teething he is just a bit pouty these days. He likes to pull his chin down and puff his lips out in a pout. He has also been a lot more forceful toward me too when he never was. Poor guy. This week he has started to close himself into his own bedroom when he has to poo. I always find him by his windowsill staring down at the cars and a terrible smell will be hanging in the air. I say, "Tommy, did you go poop?" and he will shout "No! Go away, Mommy!" and if I try to take him to the bathroom for a change he pushes me away. I always have to get a smile out of him before he will come. All I had to say tonight was, "Tommy you stinkyyyyyy" and he laughed. Even when he is cranky a laugh is never far away from this kid.
Every day this week, Tommy begs Logan to be Ganandorf so he can be Link to fight him. He can be very loud, crazy, and a little violent and rough with his sward my sister Leisha gave him. But if Logan ever dishes anything back Tommy can't handle it. It is hilarious to watch. And of course Elsy joins in as the princess Zelda shooting an imaginary bow and arrow.
Somebody, remind me next time I read on a blog post that a sensory bin is "easy to clean up" to cover my eyes and shout "LIES!" and close my laptop before I try it out. This time I made moon sand (8 cups flour, 1 cup baby oil). The kids of course loved it, but...
I just feel like pictures never do a mess justice. They were like little ghosts afterward and flour was everywhere. I set them up to play and then went into the other room. When I came back, POOF.
In other news, I spent all last week drawing up plans and doing research on creating a little patio garden for us this spring/summer. I am so excited to try it all out. Logan drew up some plans on Saturday ^^ to build me a planter. For $30 he built me an awesome planter (I couldn't find one like it for less then like $150)... and basically it was free because he bought it all with the gift card he got for Christmas from my parents. I don't have a picture of the finished product but he completed the whole thing on Saturday. I just can't wait to plant in it!
Also, Saturday was the General Women's Session of conference. My sister Lenise sang in the choir. The music was so beautiful. Although I felt like I didn't enjoy it as much as I usually do because every time the camera angle would change I would be frantically looking to see if she was on screen! Haha! The messages were all inspiring and I was able to receive some good promptings for myself. I have been realizing how many things I add to my list just to 'check them off'. I realized I needed to change some of my habits. For example, for many years now it has been my goal to read all the conference talks before the next conference. And I have consistently fulfilled this goal. But the problem is, in my haste to read them (usually doing every day for several days before the coming conference) I don't fully study them and learn from them as I feel I should. But I am checking off my goal! Anyway, it hit me that this wasn't how the conference talks were meant to be studied. I have been thinking a lot about it these last few days and am trying to figure out the best way, for me, to be getting the most out of the talks in conference. I am excited and also a little daunted to step out of that comforting check off routine and instead try something that will help me grow more spiritually and gain a stronger testimony of specific topics that I am learning about.
On Sunday we forgot to take two cars. Logan needed to stay after and do some office work and counting so the kids and I hung out in the foyer after church for a while. They were such a hoot. Logan had taught the lesson in Elders Quarm and someone had passed out cookies. Elsy enjoyed giving out the extras to everyone who passed by.
I realized they were matching today so I had to get a couple of pictures. I can never get them to both smile at the same time.
On Sunday evening Logan and I had a great conversation about 'Truth'. I had read an article that someone had written about our church. They were a member but they clearly wanted some changes to be happening within the 'culture' of our church. I have been LDS all my life, and I for sure can attest to the fact that yes, we do have a culture within our church and yes, there are some parts of that culture that are not exactly in line with what we preach and teach. But I am not going to go into that stuff.
What I found interesting was this.. as I read the article I found myself agreeing with a lot of things that were brought up. Thinks like, we shouldn't judge others, love should come first, etc. etc. etc. However there were some things in the article that just didn't resonate well with me and felt a little bit off. As Logan and I talked about it I realized that those things that felt off were things that were not full truths. The writer of the article, while preaching love, left a few holes, and by the end I felt like the article, in the whole, was not preaching full truth.
Anyway, as I thought about it I came to some interesting realizations. I realized that most all of the articles I see that are being passed around on the internet that are about the LDS church are trying to convince others of something. They are usually saying there is something wrong with the church and that something needs to change. I started wondering, why do I hardly ever see a post or article about the church that seems to ring completely true to me? And I realized it is because the church isn't out there to convince anyone. The church simply states truth and lets us, lets our hearts and minds, feel it out for ourselves and then we convince ourselves one way or another. But if we are truly humble and ready to listen we will be able to feel the Spirit speak truth to our hearts. For example, look at any statement the church has made over the last couple years. They are always short and concise and they just state the facts or the doctrine. They don't flower it up or anything. They don't spend time trying to sway or convince you what they are saying. They just say, this is how it is. Then, that same day, tons of posts and articles are written by anyone who wants to write and they are all trying to convince you why the leaders of the church are wrong or right or this or that. Some of them are excellent writers and have a lot of knowledge and insight. But the church doesn't get into any of that. They just state the truth. The truth speaks for itself. Sometimes the church will say something like, "We don't know why we are commanded to do this, but we have been commanded to so we do." They don't try and explain things away or anything. They just say, "God speaks the truth so we follow."
This coming weekend, when you listen to General Conference, pay attention. Nobody will be trying to argue a truth to anyone there. All they will do is state the facts, maybe they will add a story to help explain a concept, but most everything they say will just be gospel truths. Something about that just makes me soul feel peace and helps me feel settled.
Joy School was at our house again! This week was the letter Y. We learned about how yarn was made and since I love to crochet I showed them a couple different projects I made and then they glued little bits of yarn to some Y's I drew on colored paper.
Today we learned Y is for Yoga. My friend Andrea told me about Cosmic Kids Yoga a while back and I had forgotten about it. But I looked it up this morning and it is so cute!... and hilarious! Haley was the only who could come today so we had a small group, her, Elsy, and Link. They just loved it, especially Elsy.
Elsy worked so hard the last two weeks to earn the Candy Land game! We had a lesson a few weeks ago during Family Home Evening about not whining and instead using a polite and kind voice. If she or Tommy used kind tones then they would get a lima bean put in a little cup. I can't even begin to tell you how many times she would see the cup on the counter and come to me with the sweetest, sappiest, "Mommy may I pleaaase have a drink of water?" just so she could get a bean. When the cup was finally full she was just over the moon with joy as we opened up the packaging on the box to play it for the first time yesterday. She has been looking at the outside of the box for so long and was utterly delighted to get to see what was inside. We played it at least eight times yesterday and probably six times today. She just loves it. And even though it is a total game of chance, she is super good at winning. Yesterday I finally told her, "We are playing one more time and I am going to win this time!" she looked at me with a straight face and said, "No. You. Are. Not." And of course she was right. I actually got into it and it was a close game and right when I thought I was drawing my last card to win, I pulled the peppermint candy card and had to go all the way back to the beginning. We both had a great laugh.
Okay, and Elsy wanted to do Yoga for the rest of the day. She spent like an hour and a half doing yoga. She is so hilarious!
One more of Logan and my late night conversations happened last night. We spent some time talking about sex trafficking and how absolutely horrifying and awful it is. Logan said, "How can you not be a little bit mad at God for some of these kinds of things?" We were just feeling awful about it all. My sister Sharee recently mentioned to us she used to feel relieved when reading the end of the Book of Mormon because, "At least we aren't that bad!" But then she realized as she read the end of Moroni how very close to the Nephites we have become when it talks about them kidnapping, raping, and murdering the women and children. It sounds just like the sex trade today. We pulled open the scriptures and Logan asked me, "How did Mormon and Moroni cope with living through all this?" He started reading through the chapters and we were so comforted as we read the last few verses in Moroni 9 25-26, "My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever. And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever."
Something I have been working on a lot this last year is allowing the Lord to sustain me through my trials. Sometimes it is easier for me to trust and realize God's hand in my life than in other people's lives. I have been finding that I spend a lot of time worrying about the ones I love and hoping that they are making the right choices and also knowing that they are each going through their own quiet trials. It is so hard for me to think they are all going through silent struggles. But I have been becoming more and more aware that isn't something I really need to be worrying about because I have a testimony of the Lord and I know because he has sustained me through my trials, I know he will sustain them. :)
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Okay so that was last weeks entry that I never posted. But here is this weeks post and we shall just mesh the two together a bit.
Lets start with my utter excitement in Logan building me that planter! We went out and bought lots of plants to put out on our little patio garden.
Here is the planter Logan built. It is just the right height for me to stand at and just out of reach or little hands to dig in the dirt. I figure when it comes time to work out there I can bring out stools for them but until then I don't have to worry about them picking strawberries that aren't quite ripe yet.
I layed out all my different pots and then the kids came out and dug in some dirt while I planted.
It was such a beautiful day. I have found I really love plants! I have often wondered if I should have taken some horticulture classes (or perhaps herbology hehe) in college so I would have a better understanding of soils, companion planting, and other basics. Oh well, thank goodness for the internet I guess. I hope I can keep them all alive, and even better! I hope we can get a little bit of a harvest! We planted lots of strawberries, cilantro, spinach, bell peppers (red, green, and yellow), tomatoes (roma and cherry), sugar snap peas, and a little blueberry bush (I read they grow great in planters so we will see!). I also plan on doing some cucumbers and some beans but I am not sure I have enough 'direct sunlight' spots left on the patio that aren't already being used. And of course I couldn't pass up planting some little purple pansies...
So, these kinds of pictures are all over my phone these days. She gets the giggles when she is taking pictures. I think I should sit her down and teach her some pointers about how to take a photo and maybe we will actually get some good ones from her!
She took this one of me too haha!
Elsy likes to climb into my bed in the mornings. One morning she climbed into my bed and I was talking to her and she looked at me and sweetly said, "Mommy I do like you, but I don't like your breath." Logan and I laughed and laughed and laughed. She is the sweetest. She also pays attention to things that make us laugh because she now says it often in the mornings and knows it will get a good laugh.
General Conference was this weekend and it was so wonderful! We usually have friends over for one of the sessions but it didn't work out this time around so we enjoyed a quite conference together. I went on Pinterest and looked up some fun activities for the kids to do to keep them quiet. They spent most of the Saturday morning session playing with play dough. During the afternoon session Tommy napped and I had printed and laminated some dotted lines from a website that had different designs and Elsy used a dry erase marker to trace the lines to practice her writing skills. She loved that. Sunday Morning I drew dots on papers in shapes and they had some big dot stickers to put on each little dot I made and they had to figure out what the picture was. That one ended up being a lot more rowdy than I anticipated. And luckily they both took naps for the Sunday afternoon!
Logan and I have found that we get very sleepy during the afternoon sessions of conference. Logan discovered if we get some special conference ice cream we are a lot more motivated to stay awake. When I got drowsy I was awakened to some cold ice cream and a spoon in my lap. We don't buy ice cream very often so it was a special treat. This picture is one that Elsy took of us on Saturday. So I guess she is getting a little bit better at photography! Haha.
On Sunday, between sessions, we went for a little walk down by Lake Samammish. We both decided after that it wasn't the best place for a walk on the Sabbath. We love going on Sunday walks but we like to avoid places that are to crowded and this was just to crowded. There were people everywhere and BBQs going and music blaring and it just wasn't what we anticipated. When we got home both of the kids were acting a little sick so they both took naps.
General Conference was so good, Logan and I both were able to receive some promptings on things we need to work on and we felt the spirit. I am still in the process of going through my notes and writing down my goals for the next few months.
My little buddy joined me on an excursion on Monday. We have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now to no avail. This weekend we thought we were having a miscarriage so on Monday Tommy joined me as we went to a few different offices to get my blood drawn in Issaquah and then to Bellevue to get a Rhogam shot (because of my blood type I am Rh negative and if you have a miscarriage with that blood type you can develop antibodies that will attack future pregnancies so if I ever have suspicious bleeding they need to give me the shot). Tommy made me feel happy even though we were doing some things that weren't all that fun for me. He held my hand, made me laugh, asked to sit in Elsy's car seat because she was at Joy School, and told me about the big city and the "tall, Tall, TALLLL towers".
According to my blood tests I either was never pregnant, had a chemical pregnancy, or it was so early on that my hCG levels never got high enough in the first place. I think with how I was feeling about everything my gut tells me I had more of a chemical pregnancy, and I don't need to be worried about losing a baby. But that doesn't lessen the fact that I thought for two days that I was. We had a hard weekend but this week I have felt such peace throughout my days.
(I went back and forth about writing these details up for anyone who wants to to see them. But recently I have seen a few people posting about how social media makes everyone's lives seem glamorous. I feel like often when we are having a hard time I skim over what it is we hare having a hard time with and make it seem a little flowery and rosy. While some things are private I also do want to remember some things as well. And since this IS my journal, after all, I am going to write about it.)
On Tuesday the kids and I went to Yellow Lake Park on a whim. We were driving home from the bible class I go to (it was my turn to watch all the kids in the nursery) and I just decided to swing by the park. It turns out to have been a great decision. Even though it was overcast, the weather was surprisingly warm. We were basically the only ones there. The kids played all over the jungle gym and then we went down to a stream and they threw sticks and rocks in the water. We went to see the ducks and then they sat in the gravel and made 'pancakes'. I just felt so content as we went from each activity to the next. I had a strong feeling of peace that told me I was where I was supposed to be right now. The more I think about the feeling I don't think it was just referring to me being at the park at the right time. Haha! No, I think I was feeling like I was where the Lord wanted me to be in life. I have been pretty sad about not being able to get pregnant. It feels like I am stuck in a lot of ways. After this last weekend, I was feeling especially upset about the situation. But as I sat on the ground 'tasting' gravel pancakes my kids offered me in their little muddy hands I just felt like I was on the right path. This is the place God wants me to be in in my life. I am so grateful for that quiet assurance. It is so easy for me to think my plan has been ruined. I wanted to have 5 kids, one right after the other, and then after five possibly even more. But who knows, maybe I will still get 5 or more. Or maybe I will simply get these two beautiful ones I already have. But whatever happens I know God is sustaining me and that I am on the path he wants me to be on. And that trust brings me great peace and helps me find joy in the little things. I am learning more and more that my 'plan' isn't the same as God's 'perfect plan' for my family and me.
I also have to explain the above picture. Logan has been playing Zelda Breath of the Wild with the kids and these days everything has to do with that. Elsy was trying to climb a tree like Link and Tommy was punching the tree and saying, "YAAAHHH!... can't do it, Mom!" He was trying to knock the tree down with a double fisted punch. Today in the library parking lot Tom told me to run because bad guys were chasing us and Elsy named her toy frog Zelda. They are to funny!
Look at these two buddies.
I am so grateful for my family. I love the song "The Family Is of God." All the lyrics are wonderful but I have been especially grateful for the chorus,
God gave us families,
to help us become what he wants us to be.
This is how he shares his love
for the family is of God.
I know that God gave us families because that is how we become who he wants us to become and how we learn what we are meant to learn. :)
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