With Real Intent

One of the reasons I fell in love with Logan was because he is sincere.  Everything he says and does is somehow connected to him wanting to make me feel loved, important, and happy.  I have seen him  do that with our children, with friends, and with strangers.

I recently read an article in the Ensign about living with real intent.  I think that is what Logan has been doing.  When you are sincere your intentions will always be in the right place.

Anyway, I thought a lot about the article this week and about what my intent is in life.  And my thoughts turned to the The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.  In it it says, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." 

To nurture is to bring up, train, and educate.  It is supporting and encouraging, feeding and protecting (dictionary.com)  When I try and remember what my real job is... not the organic cooker, the wonderfully clean organizer, the trendiest styler,  the fittest athlete, or the craftiest DIY-er... but the mom who is in charge of making sure my children feel loved - that is when I go to bed at night feeling like I have purpose.  When I am sincerely trying to help and love my children. :)

So this week was interesting, to say the least.  Lots of ups and downs - really no surprise there. ;)

My week started with voting!  Last year the first presidency sent a letter that was read in all the wards that talked about the importance of voting.  Ever since then I have tried to do a better job of reading up on the issues and voting, instead of forgetting and thinking "whatever".  What that entails is me staying up really late the night before Election Day reading about all the issues and people and trying to make up my best decision.  Logan helps a little haha.  So I did that this week.  I felt so proud dropping off our ballots.  We are so grown up and mature. :P

It rained and rained and rained all week.  There were a few bright spots that we tried to take advantage of.  We walked to the park but the toy was all nasty.  That's okay though.  Elsy just grabbed a stick and pretended to be Link.  She is pretty content that way.

Our little chubbers turned 9 months!  I always try and take pictures of the kiddos at their doctors appointments but this time I forgot and remembered as I was walking out to the car.  So I just took one at home instead.  This little chubbers weighs 21 lbs. 12 oz (82nd percentile) and is 30.5 inches long (99th percentile).  His head circumference is 19 inches (100th percentile).  While at the doctor Tom got a flu shot.  Elsy was very concerned for him.  She got her shot last week and although she took it like a champ she kept saying all day, "I don't want Bay Tom to cry" in regards to his shot.  Well, sadly he did cry. :( Elsy's name for Thomas is Bay Tom - baby Tom.

Tom lives life with a growl and a smile at the same time.  His personality is starting to show through.  I absolutely LOVE the 9 month phase of life because babies are finally interacting with you on a different level.  We will shake our heads at him and laugh and he will do it back.  He has figured out that voices are for communicating and is using his grunts and growls to get our attention in different ways than before.  My favorite is the short little yell "Ah!" he makes when he wants more food.

Our Elsy girl has become quite the sassafrass.  And it is quite more than I can take sometimes.  She often tells Logan and I to stop talking.  She is quite good at taking toys from her brother.  And she has sadly thrown a few sluggers at her friends in nursery.  When she does something wrong we usually have her sit with her nose in the corner.  But sometimes she is just an emotional wreck even when she didn't do anything wrong.  So I found the idea on Pinterest to make a "calm down jar".  Its a sparkly bottle that you shake and hand to the kiddo when they are freaking out.  You sit them somewhere to cool down as they watch the glitter settle.  When it is all settled they can come play again.  It is just for when a kiddo is freaking out, not for when they have done something wrong and need discipline.  (Something about handing Elsy an immensely wonderful and sparkling bottle when she just hit her brother doesn't sound like the right way to handle things haha)  We used it when Elsy woke up sad from her nap and wouldn't calm down.  She didn't do anything wrong so we didn't want to put her in the corner, but did want her to "take a break" so we sat her down with the bottle.  We will see how it all pans out.

They are super easy to make, you can find tutorials online.  Ours is just a Sparkling Ice water bottle.  I filled it about 3/4 way full of water then added a few packets of fine glitter, a whole bottle of glitter glue, and then added clear gel glue until it was the right consistency (the more clear gel glue the longer it takes for the glitter to settle).  Then we super-glued the top on.

On Saturday I played the piano for a baptism.  I tried to practice but these two kids just don't like to leave me alone.  This is how the practice session ended.

 I know I have mentioned that I often get answers to questions through songs.  This happened again this week as I was practicing the music.  I often have a hard time putting my thoughts to words and praying is no exception.  The scripture that says "the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me" (D&C 25:12) is one that I love because I really do feel like songs help portray the intent of my heart.  

This week there was a big hullabaloo about a policy change in the church.  The policy states those participating in a same-sex marriage fall under the definition of apostasy and that a child of same-sex parents may not receive a name and a blessing.  It also says that children of same-sex marriages cannot be baptized until the age of 18.  For more information see here. 

Anyway, this new policy caused quite a stir.  While I initially felt a little confused on the policy regarding children of same-sex couples, I was able to find understanding through what the leaders of the church shared (see above link).  Despite this, I continued to feel a great deal of sadness throughout the later end of this week.  I have been sad because of the disruption and the many people I know (and don't know) who have seen this policy and decided to distance themselves from the church because of it.  A lot of feelings were hurt and a lot of sadness has been caused because of the change.  While I agree with the policy, I have felt upset that so many have been so negatively affected by it.

I recently have faced some of my own struggles with some church doctrine.  After a lot of praying and pondering, a lot of turmoil and late night conversations with Logan I was able to put my trust in the Lord and see things from a new perspective.  I was reminded of those feelings this weekend because I knew a lot of people were feeling those distressful feelings I had been feeling.  As I was practicing the piano, the two songs that had been selected fit so perfectly with how I felt.  The first was the hymn "The Iron Rod" and the second was the primary song "Faith".  The first song reads: "While on our journey, here below, Beneath temptation's power, Through mists of darkness we must go, In peril ev'ry hour... And when temptation's pow'r is nigh, Our pathway clouded o're, Upon the rod we can rely, And heaven's aid implore.  Hold to the rod, the iron rod; 'Tis strong, and bright, and true.  The iron rod is the word of God; 'Twill safely guide us through."  The second song says, "Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray.  Faith is like a little seed:  If planted, it will grow.  Faith is a swelling within my heart.  When I do right, I know... Faith is trust in God above; In Christ, who showed the way.  Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow Whenever I obey."

My kids probably wonder why I get emotional every time I sit down to practice the hymns and I feel silly because I often play and cry at the same time.  But it is a good kind of cry, because I am happy.  I am feeling the Spirit.  I thought the lyrics to the songs were so inspired, especially for a time when even if we don't understand we need to show faith and trust in God.

Going back to the policy change, I think a lot of what made everyone so sad was how people were responding on social media.  It seemed to me like a full on battle between two distinct sides.  And I know that is not what God wants.  As Logan and I talked about it, he brought up the story "You Are Special" by Max Lucado.  You can watch a reading of it below.  But basically all the people in the book give each other stars or dots all day long.  Stars if they like something another does or says and dots if they don't.  But one of the girls in the book is un-stickable.  The stars and dots all fall off of her.  When asked why she says it is because she visits her maker every day.  Logan pointed out that that is kind of like today.  Everyone on social media is waiting for the next big and sensational thing to come around so they can put their stars or dots all over it.  The new church policy, Cecil the lion, does Frozen have a hidden agenda?, Bruce/Kaitlin Jenner, the definition of modesty, immunizations, parenting styles, etc.  And you know what?  God doesn't really care.  He doesn't look and see all the stars and the dots.  All he sees is us as individuals.  What he does care about is how we are treating each other.  And if we start to focus on what God sees in us the the stars and dots will fall off, we won't really care what others say, and we will ultimately be happier because of it.  

I am all for sharing your testimony on social media.  I also think it is wonderful to have an opinion!  But it is possible to share your testimony in a way that hurts others as well as it is to share an opinion that hurts.  I think we need to keep that in mind.  I definitely know I do.  Like I was saying before, if we focus on our intent and are sincere about our words, I don't think you will go wrong. :)

Okay, back to our rainy week!

The rain causes me to have cabin fever.  It also causes Logan to have cabin fever.  So we went to Redmond Town Center three times this week to walk around.  THREE.  The third time we went we spent a little time in the rain garden.  It has lots of different things to bang on and make music... aka noise.  I was proud of Logan because he was actually able to make a tune out of the above contraption.

Tom can have some intense eyebrow expressions sometimes!

Elsy loved banging on everything.  It was a great activity for getting our cooped up and cabin fever feelings out.

I just love music and am so grateful that Logan does too.  Elsy and Tom also love it.  Every time Logan gets the ukulele out Tommy makes a bee line for him - no matter where he is.  Today Tom was under the piano playing when Logan started strumming. I saw Tom immediately stop what he was doing and crawl as fast as he could to Logan.  Then he sat at Logan's feet and said "Eh!  Eh!" until Logan leaned over and let him grab the strings.  I hope my kids become as good of musicians as their dad.

This next week my goal is to try and create an environment where my kids can feel loved.  Isn't that my goal every week?  Yes.  But each week I try to try harder.  Cheers!