In contrast to last weeks craziness, this week was an absolute and utter bore. After writing last weeks blog post I went over to my planner and turned the page to this week and saw... absolutely nothing. Which is a bit intimidating for me, maybe even more intimidating that finding a week bursting with things to get done. When I don't have something to do, I go a little nut-so.
Being a mom is awesome. It is full of little moments that make me so happy and feel so fulfilled. But there are times when I struggle to find my purpose. And those are the days where I feel like I lay on the floor all day and let princesses slide down my legs or I sit in the rocking chair all day wrestling my little boy to go down for all of his naps. (Tommy is in the process of dropping a nap so either I rock him for a half hour and then he sleeps for a half hour or we skip it and have a cranky night. I still can't decide which I'd rather).
But even though I feel like I walked around with the drudgery of motherhood cloud looming over my head I still was able to have some fun with the kids by going on walks and to the park. By painting a nightstand in the garage with Tommy in his bouncy car and Elsy painting cardboard beside me. By having a husband who is willing to help with the dishes and putting the kids to bed when the day felt a little to long for me. Even though there are hard, long days and I can't wait to put the kids to bed... those are the same days that I stare at them on the baby monitor and wish I could go in and snuggle and kiss their cute sleeping faces and I can't wait for them to wake up. Parenthood = bipolar disorder.
One thing I have been kinda frustrated about lately is how many times people think I am a nanny and not the mom of my children. Or when I am at the grocery store and someone says something along the lines of "Oh, a day with the kids!" as if it is something that I wouldn't normally do. Are there really not that many people my age having children? Are there really not that many women who chose to stay home with their children instead of entering the work force? Logan and I frequently hang around with Tommy in my front pack and Elsy walking next to her daddy-o. Yesterday we saw a lady walking with her dog in her front pack and her man holding a leash to another dog. Now, I know that there are many situations that lead to a couple not having children and therefore getting pets instead. Pets rock. But more and more frequently I feel like I see people having pets instead of having children. I have never regretted my choice to stay home and have children. In fact, can you believe it, I want more!? Even when I am wiping baby rice off my skirt before church! Even when I'm cleaning puke out of my freshly washed hair! But especially after listening to my two year old say her prayers at night! And especially when my little man grabs my arm in a tight hug when he wakes up. Especially when I hear my kiddos laughing hard at each others silly faces. And most definitely when my little girl stops while we are laying and playing little people and hugs me for no reason and says, " Thanks for playing wiff me mommee!"
In this world I feel like true motherhood is a dying art. And I'm not saying I'm an artist by any means but I am trying. Here is something my mommy taught me. And its something I went back and read this week and it helped motivate me. Doctrine & Covenants 18:15-1 says: "And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!" I always thought this pertained to just missionary work but my mom told me that it can actually mean bringing the souls of your children to the Father. I am trying to teach my children what is right and wrong and even though there are hard days, long days, and just plain boring ones, each day is an opportunity to teach my children what is right.
I hope that didn't sound like a rant. It was more like a thought process I have been going through all week. :)
While this week was basically uneventful, this evening we were invited to make apple cider at the Heywood's house/barn.
Like last year, Elsy was in charge of putting apples into the water bin to soak. She said they were in the bath tub. Luckily this year we all wore our rain boots (because last year our feet were sopping wet). Elsy was still wet to her elbows though.
What a good little helper!
Tommy sat in the backpack and played with/pulled my hair while I chopped apples.
And Logan and Jake worked the apple press (Logan is exaggerating the strength needed to turn the press... or was he? Haha). Our reward? A gallon of fresh pressed apple cider. Yummy!
No comments:
Post a Comment