Well, the kids are in bed and I did a little online shopping so now it is time to settle in and write a little update on our family!
The last two weeks have just been really chill for us... I mean me... Logan has been super busy and I feel a little helpless at home because I want to help him but there are some things that are just out of my expertise and ability. So for now I will resort to trying to make sure the house is clean so he can come home to a non-chaotic place.
We really have had not much to do these days. I cleaned out the closets and all the kids clothes, scrubbed the bathrooms, and have been working hard to keep up on the dishes after every meal (instead of just leaving them all until the kids are in bed... yikes!). It has helped keep me busy when not much is going on.
We went to the last playgroup at the church before Park Days started. We were the only ones there for a while. Tommy and Elsy rode their bikes in laps at said they were riding motorcycles. They pretended to be racing in Mario Kart and Elsy was Peach and Tommy was Link. They would pump their arms up and down and say, "I won! I won!" or my favorite was when Elsy would pretend to loose she would cover her face with her head and shake her head in shame.
My mom unearthed these pictures from the Volmer Family Reunion last year at the Oregon Coast. They were to cute not to share.
I am so sad we don't get to go to the Oregon Coast this year. It is my favorite place to travel to with my family. I have only missed going there once since I was born. Logan's brother, Hiatt, is getting married though so we will make an exception. ;) We are really excited to get to go to Utah this summer for that! Hmm.. I am realizing we don't have outfits for that yet... maybe time for more online shopping! ;)
Logan lets me have Thursday nights to myself, it is my night off. We started doing this a while back and it has been so nice for me, I had no idea. I often go shopping or hang out with some friends or whatever! It is great. I went to Old Navy and bought the kids some clothes, sadly they didn't fit. I decided to drag them both there to find them summer clothes that actually fit. It didn't go very well. But we made it out alive.
Here is Tommy throwing his cast away! HOORAY!!! His arm has been healing really well. We are trying to do little exercises with him but its hard to keep him engaged. The other night I was praying to know what to do and I got the idea to put stickers on his chest and have him take them off with his 'owie arm'. He has been doing well getting it straightened out (it is so close to being all the way straight!) but he still struggles with bending it. We are working our way to having him be able to touch his shoulder. The sticker game has been going well and it is fun enough for him that he wants to do it. After just three nights of that I am already being able to tell a difference. I am so grateful that God answers even our smallest prayers sometimes.
Say "Cheese!"
Tommy and Elsy have been running around the house in their slippers lately saying they are ice skating in the kitchen as they slide around. Then they run over and put on their sandals and flip flops and call them their "Ice-Climes" and try to climb up the slide we have with their slippery sandals on. They are just full of imagination these days!
We have really been struggling with family scripture reading. Not that we don't do it, just that it is a constant battle in our home. The kids just don't want to sit still! We have tried the picture scriptures, reading to them straight from the Book of Mormon, showing them pictures and explaining stories ... My cousin Alicia told us that she had her kids each read a verse (they are my kids ages... plus one younger!). We decided to try it out and we read and they each get a turn repeating it back. What a difference it has made!! They are both engaged and are 'stuck' listening to our explanations because they aren't done reading yet. The other day I was in the kitchen and I heard the kids talking to one another. I stopped to look and Elsy and Tommy had the Book of Mormon out and Tommy was repeating after Elsy. "And it came to pass..." "Came to pass..." "That Lehi had a dream..." "Hi had a deem..." "To move to da wilderness..." etc.
I have started working on my car mat again. I started making Tommy a mat with roads on it out of felt to give to him last Christmas. You know the kind the kids drive their little cars on? Anyway, I am still working on it. It is hard for me to work on it because every time the kids are around they want to play with it so I can't work on it or Elsy wants to help... which includes her pulling the needle through every stitch which makes for a long process. I decided this week to teach Elsy to hand sew for herself. She loved it and caught on so quick!
The sun has been coming out in patches of two days or so and then going away. We finally had a sunny day so we went to the big slide park in the Highlands for a picnic. You can't see very well but Tom is at the top and Elsy is on her way down. I settled down to read a book and we all got a little color to our skin finally!
I just love to read, but lately I don't. My problem is I can't put a book down once I start and that is problematic when you have motherly duties to attend to. I bought this book for myself, The Witnesses by Stephanie Black, during my surgery but it didn't come in the mail until after I was done being bed ridden. I finally started it and, yep, read it late into the night and all day until it was done. It was a pretty good book, nothing to amazing or anything, I just really get into books! Haha!
We had a ward BBQ at the Montagues! It was so HOT! We were all sticky with sweat and bursting with food by the end. Especially the kids since they had Cheetos and doughnuts for dinner. (Eyes rolling).
Elsy and Tommy have been in a fantasy world for many many days now. Tommy is Link, Elsy is Maui, and they both call me Moana, not Mom anymore, at least when they are playing their never ending game. They keep laying down like this together and then racing into our room and jumping on the bed (which is the boat). They bring stuffed animals to protect with their swords - a red one (the flame sword) and a blue one (the ice sword). If they kill anyone with the ice sword the flame one brings them back to life and visa versa. Tonight we were listening to the 'bad guy songs' from the Moana soundtrack (which is just the background music for the movie) and they were running around shouting and screaming. I wonder what life is like for them inside their heads. It seems stressful to always be on the look out for bad guys...
While cleaning out the closets I found the big tub of moon sand I made for the kids. Tommy calls it snow. I let them play with it one last time before I threw it all away. It was just to messy. But I learned from last time and I stripped the both down before letting them play in it (It is just flour and baby oil). They had a blast... until they started throwing it. :( Poor Tommy got it all in his eyes and cried and cried. So i stripped them down even further, rubbed them off, put on their swim suits and took them to the pool for a 'bath'. I am sure I would have gotten in trouble if anyone knew how much flour was underneath their suits. ;)
We have been working on obedience and both kids had a sticker chart. They got a sticker if they did things the first time I asked them. They both decided to go to the pool when their charts were done. I love it when they pick something we already planned to do anyway! Only today they both finished their charts and it was the coldest day of the week. So when I took them for their 'baths' we just stayed in the hot tub.
Look at those precious squinty eyes and those little fingers! I just love miniature hands of little kids. I love seeing them do things that adult hands do, but just in miniature form. A few months ago we checked out "The Kissing Hand" from the library. I had never heard of it, but we all fell in love with it. Its about a little raccoon who goes to school for the first time and his mom gives him a kiss in his palm and whenever he gets lonely he is supposed to press it to his cheek. Anyway, almost every day when Logan leaves to work Elsy runs to him and gives him a little kiss in his palm.
While she can be a sweet, sweet thing we have also been having an increasing number of battles with this little girl. She is quick to ignite and slow to cool off. The obedience chart was helping a lot, but the instant it was filled she was back to her tantrums. I think I need to start a new chart in the morning...
The other night as I was rocking Tommy before bed, Logan sat next to Elsy talking. I had to stop for a second and listen because I didn't know what he was saying. He was talking to her in Spanish and I had to smile. Tommy jumped off my lap and ran to Logan to listen. Both of the kids just giggled and thought it was the funniest thing. After that Elsy started talking in gibberish super fast. She sounded a little like a chicken. Tommy, Elsy's mini-me, followed suit. They gibber-jabbered to each other back and forth for the rest of bed time.
Look at this darling little boy! I just can NOT give him enough kisses, and he seems fine with receiving them so I will keep giving them until he grows out of it... and then still might anyway.
Tommy loves to talk in silly voices, I know I have mentioned before. Sometimes he talks in a high pitched, puppy sounding voice and other times it is a deep, growly voice. Often times when he does this we will ask, "Tommy are you a puppy?" or something along those lines. He always stops us and says, "No, I'n just a Tommy boy."
However, the last few days, whenever I call for him to do anything, "Tommy come get dressed" or "Tommy come sit up!" he says "No! I'n LINK!"
We have been reading the friend during lunch time and we were talking about the celestial kingdom the other day. (I like reading from the friend because it brings up topics I never thought to teach the kids about!). As we talked about it I told them about how they will be kings and queens and Elsy seemed to like that. She asked, "Mom, since heaven is way up in the sky, what do we stand on?" She is such a thinker, just like her dad and I love it.
I said to Elsy, "Do you want to go to heaven?" and she said, "Yes!". Then I turned to Tommy and said, "Tommy do you want to go to heaven with me?" and he said in his growly, grumpy voice, "No! I wanna go a grandma's house!" I guess that would be heaven to him. Haha!
Logan has been working hard this week building us a bunk bed for the kids room! Really, it is more of a platform bed that Elsy will be sleeping on with the toddler bed underneath for Tommy. He is old enough to be out of the toddler bed now I think. He is to big for a pack n play now so when we travel he won't be confined. I am worried about not getting any sleep on our vacations so I want to teach him to stay in his bed before we go on vacation. Logan is getting close to being done and then we need to paint it and it will be all set!
One of the other reasons I want Tom in a toddler bed is so I can reach him better and give him kisses when he is sleeping! Every night before I go to bed I go check in on my babies, re-tuck them in, give them little kisses, watch them while their are peaceful. They are both growing up way to fast! And I can't ever lean down and give my baby boy a kiss because of the bars in the way. So I am excited to have him out of there... although now that I think of it, Elsy being up high will now just make it hard for me to reach her now. Darn.
Last night as I went in to give my babies kisses I had to sit down in the rocking chair in there and have a good cry. They are both growing up so fast. I want to be the perfect mom for them and teach them what they need to know but I am worried I will fall short sometimes. My heart just ached for them while wishing they could grow up to know, as I know, to rely on the Savior for strength and hope. It seems like such a daunting task sometimes. Another month has passed with us still not getting pregnant and I have felt loss in that, even without ever loosing anyone. I have been realizing more and more that I was just expecting to have more kids and just assumed I would enjoy all the little things when I had my 'last' child and cherish those things then. Now that I have begun to wonder if we will ever have any more kids I realize all the missed opportunities in enjoying the little things more, like nursing in the middle of the night, rocking little bodies to sleep while they still fit on my lap, baths in the baby tub, chopping food extra small for tiny fingers to grab, keeping boxes and cartons around (because those are babies favorite toys), those kinds of things. I really don't know if we will have another kid. I am still hopeful! From all the tests we have run so far we seem to be young and healthy. We have another month of trying Chlomid before running some new tests. So I am hopeful that I haven't experienced the last of those things. But when we have been trying for such a long time it is easy to get discouraged and have sad thoughts that maybe go a little over the top ;) I just allow myself one day a month to really feel sad about everything, and that day is always when I get a negative pregnancy test. But after a day I am able to re-align my desires with what the Lord has in store for me and I do my best to stick to that way of thinking. We have faith in God's plan and timing and we are learning much from this experience.
Logan came in last night and saved me from my tears. He helped comfort me. I am so grateful for a husband who sometimes knows exactly what to say but also knows when sometimes he doesn't need to say anything.
Today I read a talk by Elder Ulisses Soares. He quoted a Portuguese hymn, "Not Now but in the Coming Years." I felt like his whole talk was meant just for me, but I especially liked this hymn:
If clouds instead of sun spread shadows o'er our heart,
If pain afflicts us, never mind; we will soon know who Thou art.
Jesus guides us with His hand, and He will tell us why;
If we listen to His voice, He will tell us by and by.
Confide in God unwaveringly, and let Him us sustain;
Sing His glory endlessly, for later He'll explain.
Some other things Elder Soares said that helped ease my the burdens I was feeling were these:
"'Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God...IF ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, ... and serve him with all diligence of mind,... he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."... regardless of [your] difficult circumstances."
"[The Savior] removed every impediment to our rejoicing and finding peace on this earth."
"Without faith, we will end up losing the capacity to appreciate those designs of our God regarding the things that will happen later in our life."
I am so grateful for the Lord and the peace he gives when I remember to ask. I just need to remember. And until I learn to remember on my own I think I will just need to keep praying to remember.